Back to 1980: Talking To My Younger Self

I am a big fan of the movie Back to the Future. It would be cool if I created my own time machine just like Doc Brown did and installed it in my SUV as DeLorean’s are hard to come by these days. I would set my destination for 1980. There is someone I desperately need to find. Who you may ask? A seven-year-old by the name of Andy Lipman. Yes, I need to find me!

I need to find that kid who one early evening in 1980 picked up an encyclopedia to do a book report on Christopher Columbus and instead found the term “cystic fibrosis (CF).” That day I became distraught and eventually burst into tears when I read that people with CF do not normally live to the age of twenty-five. I would later write my memoir Alive at 25 to punch back at that same article that predicted my doom. It was that night I believe that I dreamt about my sister Wendy for the very first time though I didn’t realize at the time that the girl who offered to help me in my dream was in fact my sister.

Growing up, my parents refused to reveal the scariness of my disease while at the same time hiding the fact that CF was the same disease that took my sister’s life. I knew that Wendy died before I was born but I was not told the cause of her death until I was 25 years old. That is when I became motivated to help start Wish for Wendy which later became a nonprofit foundation which has raised more than $4.5 million for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. My mom and dad also used to do my postural drainage every morning which they referred to as my “exercise” and made me take my enzymes which they simply called “pills” so that I could digest fats.

Several kids told me they heard I was going to die from CF. My parents told me to ignore them but after reading the encyclopedia article it only confirmed to me that my classmates were the ones telling the truth. My seven-year-old self needs help and there is only one person who can help him and that’s me!

So it’s time for me to go! I jump into my car, set the year for 1980 and hit 88 miles per hour. All of a sudden I find myself at my childhood home, a white stucco, two-story house located in the heart of Doraville, Georgia. I quietly walk up the creaking stairs to my old bedroom and witness a sleeping seven-year-old with tears soaking his Superman pillow.

Andy 2020: “Andy? You up?”

Seven-year old Andy slowly opens his eyes…

Andy 1980: “Who are you?”

Andy 2020: “I’m a friend of your parents. I heard about the encyclopedia. I’m sorry you had to learn about cystic fibrosis that way. I need to tell you some things but I don’t have a lot of time. First off, you have to keep doing your CF exercise and taking your pills.”

Andy 1980: “Mommy and daddy make me do my exercise every morning and mommy carries my pills everywhere, so I don’t forget them. I hate having to remember them and people look at me funny when I take them. I hate my exercise because mommy and daddy have to hit me in the morning and sometimes at night. It hurts. They make me cough too and I have to spit junk in the toilet every time we switch positions. I hate coughing. It makes me feel so yucky. I do it so much during the day. My friends don’t cough and some of them tell me I’m going to die. I can’t even run laps in P.E. because of my cough.”

Andy 2020: “Yeah, first off never tell your teachers that your parents hit you. They may get the wrong idea. You must understand that your parents are not trying to be mean. They are trying to make it so you can breathe better. By coughing, you are getting that junk out of your lungs and it will make it easier to breathe as you get older. You also must become more responsible and stop letting your mom carry your enzymes. Pills will be your friend one day. One in particular called Trikafta will make your cough virtually disappear so practice taking them regularly now. As far as some of your ‘friends’ go, they don’t know how long you are going to live. No one does. You have to become stronger especially during P.E.”

Andy 1980: “I hate P.E. All my friends run laps. I try but it’s too hard because I cough. Mommy gives my teacher a note now, so I don’t have to run. It’s much better.”

Andy 2020: “No, Andy. It’s not much better. You need to get in shape, run and compete. It will change your life.”

Andy 1980: “Ok but do my parents have to do my exercise? Sometimes I want to just run away.”

Andy 2020: “Yes, they do. It is critical to keeping you healthy now and in the future. A machine will someday be invented called ‘The Vest’ which will allow you to do your own airway clearance so you have the opportunity to grow up and move away.”

Andy 1980: “That’s so neat. I always worry that I’ll be stuck living at home with my parents while my friends go off and do fun things.”

Andy 2020: “Andy, you can have a job, a family and live an exceptionally long time. You need to be more appreciative of your family though as they have been through a lot. Not just with you but with your sister too.”

Andy 1980: “Mommy talks about Wendy sometimes. She always says I am lucky to be alive and I know it is because my sister died. I am mad at my sister for making my mommy upset with me.”

Andy 2020: “It’s not your mom’s, dad’s or your sister’s fault that she died. Just trust me that one day you’ll see that your sister’s life while short will play a big role in yours.”

Andy 1980: “Okay, so I need to be more responsible for my CF stuff, start running more and be nicer to my parents. Is that it?”

Andy 2020: “Pretty much. Just know that you’ll be okay no matter what obstacles you face.”

Andy 1980: “I’ve got it. Thanks Mister. What’s your name by the way?”

Andy 2020: “Andy.”

Andy 1980: “Cool, like me?”

Andy 2020: “Just like you. Well, goodbye…”

Andy 1980: “Wait, Andy. Are you related to that girl I dreamt about tonight who asked to help me?”

Andy 2020: “Yes, but that’s another lesson for another day. By the way, I happened to notice that you still wear your nebulizer mask when you do your exercise.”

Andy 1980: “Yep. It’s annoying. I hate wearing it. Will I keep having to wear a mask in the future?”

Andy 2020: “Um…well…let’s just say you better get used to that mask, kid. Bye!”

I feel like growing up I needed someone other than my parents to tell me the importance of compliance and to give me hope. I know in reality that I will never find a time machine to help my seven-year-old self, but I do hope that I can give faith to other young kids with cystic fibrosis who so desperately need it. We live in a crazy world which has only been made crazier thanks to COVID-19, the virus that has put those of us with CF at an even higher risk. I want children with CF to know that I will continue to both support and advocate for them and their parents now and in the future.

Anyway, I have one more stop to make. I am setting the time machine for January of 2020. I have to tell a certain 46-year-old to stock up on masks, hand sanitizer and toilet paper. If there’s time, I will warn him about the murder hornets and Carole Baskin, too. Wish me luck.

Live your dreams and love your life.

Andy